Murphy

Murphy Tuffin is (somehow) the parent of the shit show that is known as the Tuffin family. Having gone through 4 divorces, we honestly don’t know how much they can take before they goes kaboom

Background

Murphy has been lynched 78 times since birth for no reason except for the fact that they are a danger to society. After escaping South Africa on a plank of wood, they ended up off the coast of Florida where they had their first child Dirt, who is their only biological child

After 2 years of wanting to beat the absolute shit out of their first child and committing several war crimes, they somehow ended up finding a small child in a Tupperware container, and out of the kindness of their heart, they adopted Aiden (also known as Aids)

Soon after, they had three more kids, Wes, Mikey, and Caitlyn. After physically abusing doctors in almost every state, they finally decided to settle down with their current husband, Shane, and found a big ass fucking mansion in a town that has been abandoned, for every single person in the town has been murdered in the 1992 Chuck E. Cheese Ball Pit Incident.

We must not speak about the past husbands. You will be banished to the nether realm.

Careers

First starting out as a part-time clown, they soon realized that their body wasn’t getting enough attention. From that day forward, they have become a professional pole dancer, which is how they met their current husband

Criminal Background

Considering that they have committed war crimes in almost every state and has murdered millions of people with a specific profession (doctors), you would think they have been caught. Dead wrong bud